


An Angel Banged My Brother

by Cerdic519



Series: Exponential [4]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Butt-Plugs, Cravings, Destiel - Freeform, Eggs, M/M, Mpreg, Nesting, Rutting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-08
Updated: 2016-06-19
Packaged: 2018-07-13 02:57:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 3,388
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7135649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cerdic519/pseuds/Cerdic519
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A Guide To Surviving Your Older Brother's Angel-Induced Pregnancy, by Sam Winchester. Notes added by Chuck Shurley.</p><p>for Tisha_Wyman, because stop me, I need help!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Introduction

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Tisha_Wyman](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tisha_Wyman/gifts).



Hi to all younger brothers out there. If you've ever thought that your older brother is Satan personified [1] and can not possibly be beaten – hah! Because until you have seen said brother limping naked into the kitchen covered in hickeys and with the sort of look on his face that tells you exactly why there has been screaming coming from his room for the past four hours, then wincing as he sits down too suddenly – yeah, I win!

My brother's pregnancy (I still can't believe I wrote those words!) was made infinitely worse by the fact that the angel who got him pregnant might look like (in my brother's words) 'a holy tax accountant', but behind that facade is a devious, conniving son of a bitch [2] who can look like a hurt puppy one minute and then go into my elder brother's room and make him emit the sort of noises that no younger brother should ever have to hear. And the one time I was dumb enough to go in and complain, I found them still going at it. On the goddam ceiling! [3]

Apparently all those years as a multidimensional wavelength of celestial intent mean that on the rare occasions when angels do take human form, they have a lot of sexual frustration to work off. And that's been Cas' answer to everything; he helped Dean survive pregnancy through sex, sex and more sex. I never thought the day would come when the great Dean Winchester would actually turn down sex [4], but sometimes he was just too exhausted. As, minus several hours sleep, was I!

So, to the actual pregnancy....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chuck's Notes:  
> [1] Um, given your own track record.....  
> [2] Hey!  
> [3] Well, what goes up.....  
> [4] Me neither, but hey, that's why they're called miracles!


	2. Days 1-5

Right at the start of the pregnancy I ran into a problem, which was that Cas did not want to let me get anywhere near my own brother. I mean, it's not as if seeing Dean pregnant would upset me after everything the two of us had been through, right?

I shall have that image with me to my dying day. Only for a fraction of a second at the time because Cas mojo'ed me back to my room, but the look on Dean's face – it was a mixture of heart-rending 'why is this happening to me?' and the sort of love for his angel that I never thought he'd ever get round to expressing. [5]

The main reason I was not allowed near Dean related to his and Cas' Nest, which is less for comfort and more because Dean needed to be constantly surrounded by his mate's scent. The angel 'kindly' assured me that when Dean said that I myself stank the place out it was just because of his increased susceptibility to scents in general, but it would be better if I kept myself clear of areas where Dean was as much as possible.

The more I got to know Cas, the more I began to realize just what a devious bastard he was. For example, he thinks nothing of changing his clothes when necessary anywhere and anytime, even standing right next to Dean. Who, as you can guess, leers for America. And drools. Being under 'quarantine' I was spared most of this, but the one time I did meet Dean in the kitchen I noticed he was limping slightly, and was not quick enough to prevent him telling me why. Apparently angel possessiveness means that their mates have to wear a butt-plug sealed with the angel's grace for the first five days, to stop other angels from 'getting in on the act' as Dean put it. I then realized why Cas had got me to do those fake printouts on the subject some time back. Gotta admire the sneaky bastard! [6]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chuck's Notes:  
> [5] We're back to the miracles thing again, aren't we?  
> [6] More like egregious misuse of modern technology to me.


	3. Days 6-10

Though I am a man of many talents, cooking is definitely not one of them [7]. I do however have a great deal of forbearance, honed through years of having Dean as a brother. Which was just as well, as the dynamic duo proved totally inconsiderate when it came to keeping their sex lives away from my poor eyes. It was bad enough seeing the after effects; Dean looked pitiful as he clutched his barely showing stomach one moment, clearly wanting attention yet getting upset every time I was even sat in the kitchen with him. And Cas was even more possessive than usual; I noticed his wings came out a lot more at this time, wrapped protectively around my pregnant brother.

My. Pregnant. Brother!

Dean of course detests anything that can be loosely classified as 'chick-flick', yet he barely managed the most minor of grumbles when Cas wrapped him up in this way. Cas' wings are impressive, though I could have done without his telling me that some of the long tip feathers are what he uses to pin his mate to the ceiling so they can have sex there. Not a mental image I really needed! [8] 

One of my brother's relatively few failings is his low self-worth. I fully expected this to manifest itself sooner rather than later, but to my surprise it did not. Unfortunately I was dumb enough to ask Cas about it, and he coolly replied that Dean did often start feeling like that, but the angel found that hot, heavy sex was always a successful distraction technique. He then offered to explain further, but I politely declined. [9]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chuck's Notes:  
> [7] Neither, apparently, is modesty.  
> [8] That angel is sometimes a little too creative.  
> [9] As in 'you ran screaming from the room' politely declined.


	4. Days 11-15

The start of this stage found Cas assembling a large number of pies in the kitchen. It is one of the great things about my angelic brother-in-law that he always tries to give Dean the things he likes in life, though I must admit I am happier not knowing about some of the things he gives him [10]. It turned out that in this instance Cas had an ulterior motive; he was about to break it do Dean that he was turning into a angel, and planned to do so when his mate was too full of pie to chase after him. As I said, sneaky bastard!

I am not sure which was worst; the scream of discovery from the kitchen, the noises that came after it, or finding my brother grinning and prostrate (and mostly naked) on the kitchen table!

One thing you should know is that the only good time to upset an angel who has a pregnant mate is never. Dean had requested a jump-suit of all things, because it meant that Cas could infuse his grace all over his body (I chose to ignore my brother's suggestion that he quite liked Cas' standard methods of 'infusion') [11]. I made the mistake of buying one in cerise, which it seems upset Dean – a fact I found out the hard way when I opened my phone and found the picture reset to one of my pregnant brother naked as the day he was born and holding the suit and a card that said 'Thanks'. And Cas had locked the phone so no matter what I did, I could not get rid of it! I did contact Charlie, but she advised me to just put up with it. Goddam!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chuck's Notes:  
> [10] Yes, my son is very 'giving'.  
> [11] Very, very giving!


	5. Days 16-20

It is well-known that pregnancy causes a rise in testiness and irritability for the child-bearer, although with my brother such a thing was hard to measure. Oddly it also caused his angel to become more irritable, as I found out when I returned to the Bunker one day to find that Gabriel had paid a surprise visit. Cas was initially and rather oddly tight-lipped about this, until a few days later he admitted that the archangel had made the mistake of teasing Dean, for which Cas had sent him to Paris. And Buenos Aires. And Cape Town. And a few other places. [12]

Cas was able to spread his brother around, so to speak, as his mate spent this stage being unusually demanding when it came to food. Normally Dean is a walking garbage bin, but now he wanted all sorts of strange, exotic meals. I even caught Cas bringing him salad one day, though I was wise enough not to remark on the fact [13].

I heard a strange noise coming from Dean's Nest at one point, and wanted to go and investigate but did not dare. It sounded a bit like whales underwater, but far more melodic. Fortunately my brother prepared my next meal, and I was able to ask him. He blushed, but said that Cas was singing to the eggs, and it was kinda sweet. The look on his face – well, if ever there was a man in love, this was it. [14]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chuck's Notes:  
> [12] You are lucky he settled for just a phone picture to get back at you.  
> [13] Which is why you aren't in Paris/Buenos Aires/Cape Town/etc.  
> [14] Awwwww!


	6. Days 21-25

I can think of many words to describe the angel who, by some sort of miracle, is now my brother-in-law. However, when dealing with a celestial being who can smite you six ways from Sunday, and worse, may not exactly rush to reassemble you afterwards, you learn to keep your opinions to yourself. Knowing what I did about angel physiology, I knew that Cas would be able to decant some of his grace into bottles so Dean could feed off of it, but seemingly he preferred the more, ahem, direct method [15]. He was also more than a little graphic as to what he would do if I let slip to Dean that there was the bottled alternative. Safe to say that I will never view an egg-slicer again without shuddering!

This must also have been one of the few times in my brother's life when he actually found his sex rationed; Cas explained that grace is very powerful, and one can have too much of a good thing. Dean thus became even more irritable than before - yes, another miracle! - and thought nothing of telling me that his cruel bastard of a husband was making him wait at least an hour between couplings. My brother does not like waiting for anything, let alone sex, and can be quite vocal in his frustration. That I could understand, but wearing a semi-transparent panty and negligee set [16] to try to lure his angel into sex was.... well, take it from someone who has been to Hell and back; hellish.

(For the record, it worked. I spent over an hour replacing all the light-bulbs in the Bunker. Again.)

Yes, Dean got a whole lot of sex at this time. And I am not sitting in the Impala's back seat until the thing has been very thoroughly washed and fumigated [17]. My brother had no shame, and despite the butter wouldn't melt in his mouth look, neither does that sex-crazed angel!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chuck's Notes:  
> [15] 'Prefers' as 'at it 24/7'  
> [16] This, folks, is the downside to the 'God sees all' thing. Because sometimes God wishes he could unsee all.  
> [17] In his defense my son did use his mojo to clean up, but he missed the footprints on the roof.


	7. Days 26-30

Cas assured me that, although my brother is turning into an angel (and I might be a tad jealous of those green-gold wings) [18], he will not be able to fully use his own mojo until after the birth. This is just as well, as the look I got when I compared him to the Madonna and child was murderous! He got back at me by telling me that the trick Cas uses to keep the eggs separate and to stop them from leeching grace off of each other made him feel like a piano being played, which was a mental image I could have done without. At least Cas hasn't tampered with my ring-call yet; the last thing I need is the sound of my brother being pleasured every time I get a call. [19]

Thinking that revenge might still be on the cards once Dean does have his mojo under control, I decided on a pre-emptive strike and brought him a large apple-pie from his favorite bakery. He was very grateful, and said that in return he would not describe how Cas rubbing certain of their feathers together gave him what he termed 'a wing-gasm'. I am disowning him. [20]

Cas, helpful to the point of wishing he would shut the hell up, explained to me later that it was necessary to help Dean through this stage by sustaining him on a high plateau of pleasure, which meant frequent orgasms to which his human mate graciously submitted himself. I did wonder at one point when Cas had to pop upstairs to Heaven to sort out something or other, but he explained that one benefit of his and Dean's profound bond was that he could give his mate an orgasm wherever he was in the universe, regardless of distance. I thought that rather coarse. [21]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chuck's Notes:  
> [18] A large tad.  
> [19] Is this a bad time to remind you that angels can read minds?  
> [20] I wish I could!  
> [21] Funny, I seem to recall you saying 'lucky fucker!'. Must have misheard.


	8. Days 31-35

I had the freedom to move around the Bunker again in this stage, as for the last ten days of the pregnancy an angel's mate retreats to his Nest and will not emerge until after the big event. Cas went running with me every morning, and I only later found out this was partly because he would then take his sweaty clothes and place them in the Nest so their scent would reassure Dean. Not quite hearts and flowers, but I get it.

I do like how much Cas cares for my brother. He has always been Dean's angel, even if he is a dorky winged dick (Dean's words, not mine) [22], rather sweet but not totally clued in on so many levels. I once made the mistake of remaking that Dean was totally whipped, and Cas 'kindly' took the opportunity to assure him that whilst my brother enjoyed restraints, paddles and spankings during teacher-student role-play, they did not and never would use whips. He was going to to say something about a baseball bat, but I was doing a passable interpretation of Usain Bolt and missed it. 

Cas is all things told rather sweet, but sometimes he does not get it. [23] One day he was outside doing something or other when Dean suddenly yelled for him, and the entire Kansas electricity grid went down at once. He got it back up [24] within seconds, but when I asked him later what he had been doing he admitted that he had been playing that game I once told him about, and destroying asteroids. I just smiled. He is such a.... cutie. [25]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chuck's Notes:  
> [22] Yes, in your position I'd rush to make that clear too.  
> [23} Unlike your brother, who always gets it (sorry).  
> [24] Oh, you mean the grid!  
> [25] Good save. Nothing to do with the fact you knew he was right behind you, of course!


	9. Days 36-39

Cas used his mojo to create some sort of 'scent barrier', so I could visit my brother in his Nest for reassurance. For both of us; Dean seemed to alternate between looking terrified at what was to come and looking at Cas with the same sort of undying devotion that the scruffy-haired ang.... as my perfect, wonderful brother-in-law (who may or may not suddenly be standing right behind me as I write these words) undoubtedly is. [26]

I noted that a small arrangement of clothes and some sort of basket contraption was there ready to receive the eggs – God, my brother is about to lay eggs! [27] – and that it was about two yards from the mattress on which Dean was lying. One day I will learn not to do something as dumb as what I did next, for I said that I presumed that Cas would move it next to Dean for the birth. The angel explained that, for safety reasons, the eggs had to be birthed some distance from the mo... birth-parent (Dean gave him such a dirty look at that!), and the angel then explained how the eggs would get from A to B. Via D-I-C-K. There is not enough whiskey in the world to remove that image from my brain. And worse, because I knew it would make Dean happier, I agreed to stay around for the birth, but I was not watching... no! There is not enough alcohol in the world for that!

Dean only left the Nest for bathroom breaks – I am sure there was not a bathroom next to this room originally, but there must have been [28]. Cas also mojo'ed up a live TV screen for Dean, so he could see me researching, Cas reading in the library, me out for a run, Cas walking along the corridor in black and lace red panties......

I think I might not survive this pregnancy, let alone Dean! My eyes!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chuck's Notes:  
> [26] Another good save.  
> [27] I BLOODY KNOW!  
> [28] No there wasn't.


	10. Day 40: Birth

Let me tell you, Hell has nothing on the sound of your own brother giving birth, and the knowledge that you can't go near him because his mate might accidentally incinerate you. And I doubt that Dean enjoyed it much, either. And all the time I was hearing a running commentary – or 'screamentary' – and picturing each egg being pushed along..... euw, euw and triple {29] euw! 

There was one particularly horrible moment with the second egg. I don't know exactly what happened, but the screams ran up through every octave known to man and just kept going. And when Cas later mentioned that he had made a recording of that infernal noise – I am never doing anything to upset either of them ever again! 

I came in afterwards to see the eggs once Cas had set up suitable safeguards (the electric fence was a bit over the top, I thought). There were four eggs; one blue, one green, one turquoise and one jet black. I worried about that, but Cas told me that the color reflects the future angel's likely wing color. Sure I had seen Dean naked before, and I was sure that Cas had not returned my brother's dick to quite the same size as before [30]. Dean was totally out of it, grinning loopily and muttering something about having an orgasm that ran through two whole yards of.....

I may have run into the door as I tried to flee.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chuck's Notes:  
> [29] Quadruple, please.  
> [30] You are cynical. And correct.


	11. Days 41-48

Immediately after the birth, Cas explained to me that the nine days between the birthing and hatching were of great import, and that Dean's mental link with the eggs would never be stronger. Unfortunately he then proceeded to explain that, as a result, he would be keeping my brother in a constant state of orgasmic bliss over the entire period. Sometimes I wonder if he knows what that sort of talk does to me! [31]

If Dean looked totally blissed out by what had happened, then so did my brother-in-law, who often times I would find sitting in the library staring into space. I know from my studies that angels do not mate often, but he seemed to be finding fatherhood amazing (I did not ask my brother how he was finding motherhood [32]). 

The only odd thing was that Cas had an egg-timer next to him on the table, the five-minute one by the look of it. It had nearly run out, and I watched as the last grains of sands hit the bottom. The instant they did Cas concentrated, and I heard a pleasured moan from down the corridor. The distance orgasm; seemingly enjoyed at both ends from the angel's smile. [33]

Then Cas turned the egg-timer over....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chuck's Notes:  
> [31] Only sometimes?  
> [32] Which is why you are still alive.   
> [33] Euw!


	12. Day 49: Hatching

Once all four eggs had safely hatched, I was allowed in to see them, though I had to stand well back. Even so, my brother-in-law growled at me. It was somehow both cute and terrifying. [34]

There were three boys and one girl. One of the boys, the one with black wings, was to be called Cassiel after his father, and another, with green-gold wings, Diniel after his... other father [35]. The third boy, who had dark blue wings, was to be called Samael, which Dean said was in honor of his uncle. I think he forgets sometimes that I know a whole lot more about angels that he does [36], and that that particular angel name has a dubious background to say the least. At least the turquoise-winged girl was to be Mariel after our mother.

Charlie came round to see my niece and nephews, and whilst in the kitchen asked about the biblical quote on the wall. I hadn't noticed it, so looked. It read 'It is far better to give than to receive'. And just in case I didn't get it, there was some 'explanatory' embroidering around the outside. [37]

Dean made it patently clear that he would not be getting laid up again any time soon, despite the frenetic speed at which his kids grew – teenagers in three months and adults in twelve – and I just nodded in agreement. Charlie owes me fifty bucks for him getting a bun in the oven in less than six months, and he's due soon. And this time Cas has given me some 100% soundproof headphones to help me through it. [38] Yay!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chuck's Notes:  
> [34] Yeah, that sums up my boy.  
> [35] You avoided the M-word. Smart move.  
> [36] Actually your brother knows a lot more about angels on some levels....  
> [37] What did you expect from a Sampler? (really sorry about that one).  
> [38] Yes, but if you ever prank your brother again you'll find that even without them, you'll be 'experiencing' your brother in full surround-sound!
> 
> There is a time-stamp in the series as well.


End file.
